It's none of your damn business

I hear a lot of noise about Baby Mama Drama that has nothing to do with anything important. Am I out of line for saying that I really don't care if Newt Gingrich had an open marriage or if Clinton had an intern under his desk? We aren't electing robots, and people don't usually get named a saint until after they've died. (WHO DAT?!) 

People do stupid things, but the reality of it is, it isn't any of my business. Your moral compass doesn't matter to me unless we're friends, and I don't make fast friend of people who run attack ads and kiss stranger's babies. If I politician ever tried to kiss my baby, I would karate chop him or her in the neck. I don't know where that mouth has been. And since he or she isn't kissing my baby, I don't care! 

Stay out of everyone else's bedroom. Social policy does not include martinis and TMZ. 

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 

And remember, it's hip to be square, kids.

Pangs

I just logged in to Facebook to see a blissful announcement: My best friend's sister is having her first baby! It's exciting and only the 345369813490834* announcement this week.

*Dramatization

My Facebook is flooded with ultrasound pictures, announcements of gender and pictures of newly decorated nurseries. It's all adorable and a little overwhelming. I know, of course, that it isn't nearly as overwhelming for me as it is for those who have to carry and raise the little bundles of joy and snot, but for some reason, it seems to raise the stakes for me. I am a naturally competitive person. I don't think child-bearing should be a competitive sport, but it does make me want to join in on the fun even more than before. 

For the record, I know someone who really did use child-bearing as a competitive sport. My mom's best friend's husband is the oldest of 16. His mother and her sister tried to out-child each other, and it resulted is 16 for one and 15 for another. Thankfully, my competitive streak stops well before that. Also, I don't have any sisters, so I don't need to worry about the damage to my nethers that over-reproduction can cause. 

But, I digress. 

Anyway, I know I'll just have to deal with the pangs and the frustration while hubster and I work out the right time and how this all will work. I don't even think they're jealousy pangs. Maybe they're born from indecision. Is it right to want something just because someone else has it? Obviously, it's more than that at it's core, but I probably wouldn't be having such a pronounced struggle if it didn't have it rubbed in my face fairly frequently by those bastards that I call friends. How dare these so-called confidantes have their own lives where they get what I think I want before I do. How rude! 

Yeah, Okay. Maybe not so much. I'll return to being terribly happy for them and leave the self-centered crap behind. I get a few moments (and a blog) of self-indulgence, then it's back to being my awesome, giving, endlessly humble self.

It's hip to be square, kids. 

Different Folks

Little E has a friend whose parents I have known for quite a while. They are wonderful, sweet people who happen to have a daughter who is exactly the same. She is precarious, outgoing and fearless. We happened to run into them at a restaurant the other day, and Little Bro called them over to say hi. Their daughter saw Little Bro and ran to him with every ounce of strength she had in her tiny little body. She hugged him like I have seen no child hug him before, and then ran off to the bathroom before bad things happened. I thought the interaction was over, but I was very wrong. Just a few minutes later, there was a boisterous 4-year-old in our booth crawling all over Little Bro and having the time of her life. She made no indication that this was unusual behavior for her. She started by sitting on Little Bro's lap, and then immediately crawled over to mine. Then, she hugged my mom and dad while her father stood there with a look on his face that said, "Why yes, we have tried to explain to her why this is not socially appropriate, but it is a lost cause."

She continued to climb.

We were all laughing too hard to care. 

Shortly after, she planted herself between my mother and myself in the booth and grabbed my phone. Within 30 seconds, this 4-year-old brainiac found the games and started beating my high score on StoneLoops. Her father said, "Alright, we have to go. You can climb under the table this one time. You love doing that." She looked at him with no intention of leaving and said, "I don't like to do that anymore. I'm gong to stay here."My mom told her that she remembered her when she was just a tiny baby. The little one replied "Yeah! When I was just an egg!"

This child had more energy than any human being I had ever seen. She clearly has never met a stranger, and she is flipping cute. She is the exact opposite of Little E in absolutely every way. Not better or funnier, just totally different. It's not that I didn't know that kids come in all energy levels and personality styles. It's just that it's really cute when you have two totally different examples right in front of you.

The juxtaposition between the two children reinforces why I think I want to have some of my own. I'm excited to know who they will be. I want to know how they will push my buttons, and how I (and the hubster) will manage to handle it. Will they bring out the best or worst in me? I feel like Little E brings out the best in me, but that's because he isn't my responsibility 24/7. It's like a whole world of unanswered questions, and the only way to figure them out is to just... start.

Also, I'm just glad that I don't have to put Little E's friend to bed at night. How do you tuck in a walking combustion reaction?