When you're a writer, and you have a place to put your words, sometimes you have to put them there right away because you know otherwise they'll be forever gone.
I'm in the throws of moving, but I had an inspiration, and it will disappear if I don't get to it soon.
Meanwhile, there are boxes EVERYWHERE.
I'm that person who calls in for customer service and, when not getting anywhere says, "I want to talk to your supervisor." I don't ask for anything that I'm not entitled to, but I will go up the chain until the situation is fixed.
Maybe the fact that I'm not scared to fight for what I want is what makes this so difficult.
I was just putting a box together and looking at the announcement for yet another person's baby. It was going in the garbage. Not in an "I don't want to look at this way," but in a "my life is going in storage and I'm not paying to store a picture of someone else's kid," way.
And I wondered:
Where is whoever is in charge of this process's supervisor? Who do I talk to? Because I want someone on the phone now who will explain to me why it's been three years, and I'm still waiting. Why sometimes it's fine and other times it's just not. Why sometimes I'm thankful for a child free existence, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks and hurts everywhere like the punches just don't stop coming. Why I know someone who is bragging about waiting to get knocked up with baby number three while I'm coming to terms with never having one. While I may have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars for the CHANCE at having one of my own, and others get to have way too many for free.
Today, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, I'm struggling.
My semi-religious upbringing would tell me that there is someone to talk to who is always listening.
Yeah, well, I'm not so sure of that right now.
I mean, I am. I'm not overly religious, but I cling to my spirituality as the last shred of decency I am capable of as the last few years continue to be hard. But, let me tell you, I've been talking and asking and begging and pleading and thanking for all of the perfect things in my life, and that's not getting me any closer to actually having the one thing that I would do just about anything for.
No one is listening.
Can someone go back and listen to the recording of these calls? I just wanted on record that I asked to speak to a supervisor, but I was ignored. Are these calls recorded for quality assurance?
It feels silly to keep asking. It is silly to keep asking. Someone had to have heard me by now, and they would have already done it if they were going to do anything about it.
Who is your boss's boss?
As always, it's hip to be square, kids.