Monday, September 8, 2014

Dear Mother and Father of Another Little Elsa: YOU SUCK.

To the parents who allowed their young and unknowing child to wave her "Frozen" wand, which is basically a multi-colored strobe light, around a dimly lit restaurant this afternoon:
I sentence you to one month of non-stop awkward commentary to friends and strangers from your kindergarten-aged child regarding things you do at home. Additionally, I sentence you to one month of non-stop profanity from your toddler that will only be uttered in the presence of adults who will think it's hilarious and laugh every time as to unintentionally encourage the behavior.
Good luck to you because this miserable migraine aura and now painful headache that I've had all day will make that all seem like a cake walk.
Maternal Damnation
P.S.- You suck.
P.P.S.- Yes. Light up toys can cause migraines for those who suffer from these awful beasts. If you aren't sure who you could be unintentionally injuring, please leave the damn thing at home. She could have even left it in the car. I seriously thought they were police lights before realizing that I was just being punched in the brain by a dumb toy.
P.P.S.S. Yes. It feels like being punched in the brain. Repeatedly.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Popular Posts