Look, we gave it a good shot. I know there are a lot of people who want you, and I should feel lucky to have you. I know that other people are willing to spend hours of their time exploring what you have to offer, but that's just not me. I'm not patient. I'm not inspirational. I'm not dedicated. This is going to sound harsh but, to me, you're a waste of time. You're looking for a different kind of girl with different aspirations. You need someone who can cook, and someone who likes to clean. You need someone dedicated to trying new things and seeing where it takes them. You need a free-spirited woman who is ADHD enough to take in all you have to offer, while being productive enough to try it all out.
That's just not me.
In fact, I think you're stupid.
I'm sure you'll find a million other people to be happy with.
We just weren't meant to be, Pinterest.
Please don't cry. You'll never know I'm gone. In fact, I'm not sure you knew I was there to begin with. You were probably too busy making a dresser for a baby's room out of pipe cleaners and lard.
Until next time (read: never),
It's hip to be square, kids.