Monday, April 8, 2013

His Last Name

My husband and I have been married about a year and a half now, but using his last name still feels like playing dress up. It just sounds weird.

Growing up, I think I always assumed I would take my future husband's last name. Once I got to be an adult, however, the idea of changing my name was really strange to me. My last name was part of my identity. It made my first and last name nearly identical to my dad's which, although confusing for others, was really important to me. It was about the family that had me first. It was about what made me the person that my future husband would love.

I guess the thing that I never thought about in all of this was how important it would be to my husband that I change my name. Independent women still have to think of the feelings of their man, no matter how much they are irritated by the existence of said feelings.

My husband was adamant about it. He is the only boy out of four children and the only one who would get to keep their family name. I am the only girl out of four children, so there are plenty of chances for my brothers to pass on the name no matter how slim of a chance it seems that they will reproduce.

I wasted time and "forgot" to do the paperwork for longer than I should have after we got married, but I did eventually do it. My name is legally changed on most things, and the ones that still have my old name are just out of laziness. I guess it's more about the future than it is the past, and growing up sometimes means moving on (even in purely symbolic ways). My maiden name is now one of two middle names. I guess as my dad has to fight for attention with my husband, they also have to duke it out in my signature for dominance.

And, eventually, I'll stop feeling like I'm wearing my mother's shoes and get used to the whole change.


And, even if I don't, my mother has awesome shoes, so it's cool.

As always, it's hip to be square, kids.

1 comment:

  1. Great story. I'm a man, and I took my wife's last name when we married 2 years ago. Lots of paperwork and I tried to do it quickly. Good luck on your experience.



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