I am better today than last night. Last night, I bordered on crazy person. I know and accept this. I would like to say that it was hormones, but it wasn't. Not THOSE hormones, at least. Just the normal kind that don't result in a tiny, drooling life form.
I did something radical. I TALKED to hubs about it. Like, I opened my mouth and shared what I was thinking to someone who isn't a stranger on the other side of the computer screen. Amazing how it happens, right? It was like I let out a lifetimes worth of anxiety and frustration and worry. I expected him to tell me that I was nuts, but he didn't. He might have thought it, but he was smart enough to keep it to himself. I don't think he wanted to be punched in the mouth tonight. Furthermore, I think he, like, gets it.
Oh, right. I didn't think I would have married a complete moron. Good thing I didn't.
So, we go from here. Trying but not. Wanting a baby but knowing that making it a "thing" will make me a crazy person. We enjoy each other while we can, and we hope for another in the future.
It really is hip to be square, kids.