What Comic Sans says about you.
Comic Sans says that you might still be rocking a mid-90s Gateway running Windows 95 and taking your instructions from a dancing paperclip in the corner of the screen. Wait. I could be wrong. The sophisticated user knew that the paperclip could be changed into Albert Einstein with just a few clicks. And who wouldn't take guidance from him?
Comic Sans says your grandchild bought you your first computer and set you up with the GeeMail.
Comic Sans says that all of your emails start with FWD: FWD: FWD.
Comic Sans says that you're 12 and you've learned that Comic Sans in 12-point font is, like, twice the size of Times New Roman of the same point value, and, thus, you only have to copy half as much information from Wikipedia for your term paper on manatees.
Comic Sans says that you are a rowdy individual with a penchant for whimsy.
No it doesn't.
Comic Sans in a business email says that you started work before computers were "a thing".
Comic Sans says that you still take the time to look at fonts. People haven't done that since before we were involved in 8 or 10 unpopular wars.
Comic Sans says that you still refer to it as a mimeograph.
Comic Sans says that you know the Biebs gets, like, a bazillion tweets, so you think sending a letter to his grandmother is, like, a way more effective way of getting to him.
As a society, we are so far beyond Comic Sans. You can do better. You don't need fancy fonts. You just need someone to proofread your work. When all else fails, go Times New Roman. You really can't go wrong with Times New Roman.
Even the Einstein would tell you that it's hip to be square, kids.