Monday, October 14, 2013

On A Scale of Pants to No Pants...

I have a motto by which I live. Okay. It might not be a motto, but it pretty much sums up my goals and aspirations all quick-like.

"On a scale of pants to no pants, with pants being pants and no pants being no pants... Eff pants."

I don't like pants. 

In fact, my goal in life is to cash in the corporate job for a work-from-home gig that pays as much but never requires me to actually put on pants.

I call it bottomless employment. 

*Side note: While my never-ending crusade against pants rages on, I really like having an office to go to. I worked from home for a while, and I wouldn't mind going back to it, but the actual getting out of bed thing isn't so bad. Don't tell me that I said that, though.*

Anyway, in my attempt to never wear pants, I have gone on a parallel search for pants that aren't so, you know, pant-sy. This includes dresses, skirts, jeans, whatever. The requirements are that they be comfortable, inexpensive and that they don't accentuate the muffin top I'm trying so hard to get rid of. 

Okay. I'm not trying that hard. I'm busy, yo.

I have a couple of pairs of jeans that I will suffer through, some yoga pants for around the house, and a couple of dresses that I like. I have the pants (GASP!) that I wear to work. I would love to wear things like maxi dresses, but I have this odd lumpy waist that just looks bad in things that show my silhouette. It's a struggle of the gargantuan first-world kind. 

And then came these: 
Image courtesy of

Meet the Old Navy Fold-Over Jersey Skirt. 

Also known as, "The Closest Thing To Not Wearing Pants That I Have Ever Come To Except For Actually Not Wearing Pants."

I bought two of them, one in grey and one in black. They were inexpensive, and I wear them everywhere. I had a little bit of trouble figuring out how to best wear the fold over, but it pretty much gives me the choice of a couple of different lengths depending on how dressy I want to be. I've worn it with heels, flats and flip flops. Futhermore...


Except for winning the lottery. That would be better. Maybe world peace. That might also be better. 


I'll be happily over here in my comfy, almost pants-less cocoon.

You can find them here: Almost pants-less harmony at

Also, I was in no was compensated by Old Navy, Gap, or anyone else for this post. I talk about not wearing pants for free. If someone wanted to pay me, that would be killer, but I think it would be more likely that they pay me to shut up. I'm open to that too. 

As always, it's hip to be square (and pantsless!) kids. 

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