Wednesday, January 15, 2014


No, thats not a dirty word, though it kind of sounds like it. In fact, it might be the most magical word I've heard in a while.

We shall see.

See, Doc's been having that walking issue. And while he's pretty good when I'm around to watch him, the rest of my family is not naturally so diligent. So I'm basically nervous all the time that he's going to fall or hurt himself or something.

First they said it was Parkinson's. Then it wasn't. Then they said it was Parkinsonism, which is apparently different. Then it wasn't.

Here's the thing: They kept saying that Parkinson's word over and over, but at no point during this whole process did he have a tremor. Isn't that, like, a big thing?

Anywhoozie, he went to yet another new doctor after something like 6 years of trying to sort out the walking thing, and we may FINALLY be on to something.


Right now, they're calling it Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. What that means, I guess, is that there is fluid putting pressure on his brain and making him forget details or have trouble ambulating. The pressure has to be relieved or the problems will increase.

So now we get to the fun part: BRAIN SURGERY.

Yes, they are going to cut a small hole into Doc's very large brain and insert a straw. That straw will drain the fluid from his brain to... somewhere else, and relieve the pressure. The whole surgery takes about 45 minutes, and the recovery time is very little.


And then supposedly, SUPPOSEDLY, after poking his brain, his feet will work again. The two seem terribly far removed to me, but hey, I'm not a doctor.

This has led to endless comments during office lunches about stabbing him in the head with the drinking straw from my soda, but we're a twisted lot. We have also considered just installing a valve on the back of his neck, but apparently that's not science. Who knew?

So, here's to hoping that all goes well and he continues to improve. We've come a long way already.

Also, while they're in there repairing his brainz, I have requested that they use a tiny fishing pole and fish out the platinum that was put in there many years ago to repair an aneurism. I need it for Cash for Gold. My running threat for him when he's sassy is that I will take his whole damn body over there and leave him. Transport would be easier for just the coils, though.

As always, it's hip to be square (and upright!), kids.

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