Wednesday, April 16, 2014
A Little Bit Liberating
This is the week that I would normally obsessively be peeing on sticks and praying to whoever would listen for two freaking lines.
And squinting hoping that the smaller my eyes get, the more that white space will start to have some kind of shadow on it that could be mistaken for a second time.
And giving myself a headache by squinting.
But I'm not because we didn't try to do anything this month. The bad news came and went and we decided that we can't add extra variable and stress to it. For a bit, we just have to let it be what it is. For a little while, we can't do anything other than just let it exist.
So we existed and took the month off.
And while I thought I would feel like a failure, I really just feel fine. I'm not back to expecting the normal rather than begging for miracles. The normal is okay because it isn't a failure of any kind. You miss 100 percent of the shots that you don't take, right? So we missed this one. That's cool. Same number of points on the scoreboard as when we started.
It's the typically dreaded time of the cycle and I'm not dreading it. I'm not dreading anything.
I didn't fail because we didn't try.
And that's a way better feeling than trying to explain what it's like to have your own vital organs working against everything you want.
This is a good thing.
As always, it's hip to be square, kids.
Posted by Maternal Damnation at 10:00 AM
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